wind of change

I feel so lost. I don’t know, I feel at a dead road. I don’t know what to do. And now I feel like im in a room with no doors and no windows. I don’t even have the will to get out. Even in complete space, I will still have nowhere to go. I sit there, praying to Allah. Crying..and just begging and begging, to remove this pain in my chest. I even asked with his Almighty power if I could just go to sleep and wake up and He will take away some memories of mine, the ones that hurt me the most. The ones that is bothering me. My day, is like a dark cloud…it feels empty. And I'm standing here alone. Lonely and scared. I'm just at my weakest at this time. I'm afraid that I will lose it again. Lose to my own self. Lose with my strength. I hate that part of me. And that moment and time. It just hurts so much, I feel very weak physically. And just so scared that I will never make it. Never to stand up again. Never to see the bright side again.